May 6, 2011
Dear Hazel,
As it turns out, parenting a newborn leaves remarkably little time for blogging. But I wanted to take a few minutes to give future you, and everyone else, an update. You are such a strong baby! After your surgery, you healed at an unprecedented rate!
For the first week, you couldn’t eat, so you were hooked up to an IV. You also had a chest tube, and in the days right after surgery, were intubated. This meant that we could not hold you until you were about a week old. We spent 6-8 hours a day at your bedside. I read you “Little Bear” and “Island of the Blue Dolphins.” I sang you lullabies and made up songs for you. I put my hand on your head as you slept, and admittedly, cried every day. Anselm spent even more time with you — fitting in extra visits while I napped and staying with you when I had to pump. I don’t think Anselm slept at all — he was taking care of both of us!
11 days after your birth, we took you home from the hospital. The doctors and NICU social worker were amazed. TEF occurs in one in 4000 newborns, and their only other case this year stayed in intensive care for months. You really fought for us Hazel. You learned how to bottle feed within a day, gained weight and were crying and cooing within days of having your tubes removed. By the time you were released, you were the biggest, strongest baby in the unit, and we were keenly aware how many of the other parents faced open-ended stays.
We followed up with the surgeon, the amazing Dr. Shin, two weeks ago. You will have your second surgery the last weekend in June at Children’s Hospital in Hollywood. This operation is far less invasive. You should only stay two nights and we will be with you the entire time (save the surgery). Anselm and I can’t help but feel anxious about admitting you back into the hospital, but we’re optimistic that whatever comes up, the three of us can get through it.
As I type, you are strapped to me in Moby wrap, your face pressed against my heart. We’re getting used to one another and negotiating this new relationship. I’m feeling more confident spending time alone for you. In fact, as we were walking around the neighborhood today, I felt again like we’re a team. Anselm has done a fantastic job caring for you. He will strap you to him and work from home when I have a yoga client or class and he takes care of the majority of your night feedings so I can sleep. We are a happy triad, especially now that you are sleeping for four hour stretches!
I feel so blessed to celebrate my first Mother’s Day this weekend.
Love,
Mom
PS You already met three of your four grandparents! Uh-oh — you just woke up, so I’d better post this now!
Letters for Baby 